The Arrival of Isaac Samuel
When I was in ninth grade I read a newspaper article about a woman who had a home birth and knew that I wanted to have my babies at home. After conceiving my first child, we chose Chris Duffy to be our midwife. We love that she is laid back and her belief that women really do know how to have babies without intervention. Before the end of our first "interview" appointment, we knew she would be a perfect match for us.
The pregnancy went very well. Chris was always helpful with nutritional recommendations and "healthy living" suggestions. While I would love to say that I followed all of her advice perfectly, she never made me feel like I was doing it all wrong when I failed to meet my expectations. As she puts it, improving your lifestyle is a process. Progress is always good.
Sunday, December 17, 2007, 8:00 a.m.
I woke up before the alarm and got out of bed because I couldn't sleep. (I usually don't even hear the alarm, much less wake up before it!) I realized I was leaking fluid, so I woke up my husband. We called Chris to let her know what was going on and set an appointment with her for 5:00 p.m. I laid down to and later realized I was having contractions. I didn't think anything of them at the time because they weren't painful, although they were definitely different than the Braxton Hicks contractions I had experienced before. Later, Chris suggested that the reason I woke up before the alarm was I had been having contractions in my sleep.
After resting for a while, I started to think about all the things we still hadn't done. After all, my due date wasn't for another 3 1/2 weeks! I started to make a list and decided to pack a diaper bag. Somehow that seemed more important to me than packing a hospital bag! At this point, I still didn't really believe that Isaac would show up any time soon!
It took me all morning to pack a diaper bag, so my husband told me to go take a nap. After taking an hour to fall asleep, I finally did, but my body was obviously not going to stop working. Although I was not in labor in my dream, I was dreaming of contractions. They still were not painful (but getting to be a little uncomfortable).
At 4:00 we left for Chris's house and I decided to time my contractions. Why it hadn't occurred to me to time them before, I'm not sure. My contractions were pretty steady at 10 minute intervals. We continued to time them during our appointment, during which time they ranged from 8 to 10 minutes. I talked easily through almost all of them. Every once in a while I had to stop to catch my breath. Chris told me that it could be quite a while for me to progress far enough along for her to come out to the house, so we made plans to talk the next day. But . . . if my contractions did get close enough together that I had 12 in an hour, I was to call her.
We left her house and made a trip to Babies R Us, my mother-in-law's house, and my mom's house. We were still at my mom's house when (around 8:30) my contractions went from every 10 minutes to 7 minutes, then to 3-4 minute intervals! Because the contractions weren't as painful as I expected, I still didn't believe I was in labor! We left her house, planning to make another shopping trip on the way home! When we stopped for gas, I told my husband that we would be foolish to stop anywhere else instead of going straight home. I think I finally realized that this baby wasn't going to wait much longer! We called Chris when there were 12 contractions in an hour, and she told us to call back when there were 12 in an hour that lasted about a minute. Interestingly, I heard her say "at least" instead of "about". That misunderstanding would later become somewhat important!
After arriving home, my husband attended to odd jobs to get us ready for Isaac's arrival. I had a light snack and rested as much as I could. Soon the contractions were increasing in intensity and in length. My goal and focus from here to the end of the labor was to relax every muscle in my body during (and between) contractions.
As I became more and more uncomfortable, I began to move around to find a more comfortable position. I tried walking, but was unable to walk during the contractions. I tried standing at the edge of the bed, but felt the urge to lower myself somehow. I tried sitting on a chair, but it was too hard, and sitting on the toilet made me feel too vulnerable (without anything to support me). I leaned over an exercise ball and nearly cried because the pain was worse in that position. I finally settled on sitting on the edge of the bed with my legs hanging over the side. If I propped my feet up on a stool (rather than let my legs hang), I tensed up my legs, so the stool had to go.
When the contractions began to feel overwhelming, I called my husband over to "coach" me through them. We didn't have any prior training . . . just what we had read in books . . . so his role was to remind me to relax my muscles one by one, and to tell me how great I was doing. =oD He was the best birth partner I could have asked for. During contractions I held on to his arms, closed my eyes, and focused on my breathing.
My mom had asked me earlier in the night how I was breathing through the contractions. I told her that I was just taking (very) slow steady breaths. She told me to be sure that I breathed out just as much air as I breathed in to avoid getting dizzy.
I realized that I couldn't hear myself breathe, and that sometimes I wasn't breathing out well enough. My solution was to hum/moan through the contractions. Although it wasn't intentional, I found myself getting louder when the contractions got stronger. Strangely, this actually helped me in a way I didn't anticipate. Contractions have been described as coming in waves. After the wave of the contraction peaked, I found my moaning getting calmer and quieter. In essence, my moaning matched the wave of the contraction. This was a signal to me that I had successfully made it through one more contraction, and that gave me the encouragement I needed to believe that I could make it through another. I believe that one of the keys to making it through labor confidently is only taking one contraction at a time. With every contraction I started saying to myself, "If the next contraction is just like this, I'll be fine." Then as they continued to increase in intensity, I knew that one more contraction like the last was not too bad.
At some point I complained that I was exhausted, so I laid on my side on the bed. The contractions were more painful in this position, but I wasn't willing to sit up because I was finally able to truly rest between contractions. My husband joined me on the bed, and during contractions, he would hold my hand, and between contractions we would rest. I remember waking him up at one point because he started snoring. Talking with him later, he said that he wouldn't argue with me while I was in labor, but he only rested so well because I was snoring!
The funniest part of my labor story is that I couldn't decide whether or not a 50-55 second contraction counted as one minute. When in doubt, call Chris anyway! By the time my husband called her to say that I'd had 12 contractions that lasted at least a minute, I'd had 3 or 4 that were 50 seconds or more in that same minute! I know that next time I'll be a little less literal! As soon as my husband called her, she was on her way.
Chris arrived at 1:45 am. When she got to my house, I remember hearing her say, "You're having a contraction . . . you're having another contraction . . . you're having another contraction." She seemed a little surprised at how close together the contractions were. Like I said . . . next time we won't wait so long to call her!!! During those contractions I felt my body begin to push (I recognized this because my breathing was choppy, not continuous like it had been), but somehow I knew that it wasn't time. I focused on relaxing and making my breath more even.
Eventually we moved to the living room and I laid down on the futon. Chris checked Isaac's heart rate and found that it was too low. She had me turn on my side, and his heart rate came back up to normal. I told her that I was ready to push, so she checked me and said he was "right there." That was all the encouragement I needed!
This is probably my warmest memory when it comes to Isaac's birth. Chris told me to push when I felt the urge. That's all she said. I remember wondering if I should already be pushing, but I didn't really feel like it, so I didn't. After I did push, I remember wondering if I should have pushed longer (you know those shows where the doctor or a nurse is counting to 10?), but she didn't seem to think I needed help knowing how to push. She apparently believed that every effort I made--whether it was to push, to breathe, or simply to rest--was exactly what I needed to do to deliver him safely. Knowing that she believed that about me (as inexperienced as any first-time mom) was so empowering. To be in the middle of the biggest physical challenge of my life and have someone trust my instincts so completely was an incredible feeling.
After some pushing, Chris told me to reach down and touch Isaac's head. Touching his head as I pushed caused me to realize how much power I had in the moment. My body had the power to deliver this baby! I did complain to her about feeling some pain as he descended. I didn't want to tear, if possible. She assured me that the pain I felt meant that my body was stretching, not tearing. I continued to push slowly, but just at the very end I knew that the next push would be the last. How does someone who has never done this before . . . someone who can't even SEE what's going on . . . KNOW when to push?!? God made our bodies wonderfully!
Isaac Samuel was born at 2:55 a.m. He was immediately placed on my belly, and as I reached down to hold him, I was amazed at how small he was. He weighed only 5 pounds 7 ounces! He had a strong cry, but didn't cry long, and he was so alert. The proud new Daddy cut the cord after it stopped pulsing, just the way we had planned.
My mom was the first person to show up after his birth. She said that she couldn't say for sure how the labor and delivery went, but the atmosphere of the home after he was born was so different than what you could expect in a hospital. Everything was so calm and peaceful. I told her that the labor and delivery were exactly the same . . . and they went exactly the way I had hoped they would go.
When it comes to such an important event in your life, nothing beats having exactly the experience you had hoped for. This holds true for childbirth more than many other milestone because home birth is not what the "typical" American chooses. However, when you are hoping for results different than the typical American winds up with, choosing a great support team is essential. Chris was a perfect choice for our midwife, and we would recommend her to anyone! Chris helped us to create the experience we were dreaming of.