The Best Way to Birth
I remember my childbirth experience vividly. My husband and I were very excited during my whole pregnancy, and especially once my contractions finally started. The hospital experience, however, was not great. Many of the staff were condescending and pushy with unnecessary interventions, even though my pregnancy had been normal and healthy. I had an epidural, invasive fetal monitoring (with that horrible screw electrode), and was not allowed to walk around. I very narrowly avoided a catheter. As a first-time mother, I didn't really know how to advocate for myself.
After the birth, the bullying began around breastfeeding. My newborn was nursing well, but a cantankerous nurse insisted she wasn't getting anything. I knew that baby only needed small amounts of colostrum in the early days. When I pointed out the fact that she seemed to be nursing well, I was accused of being a selfish mother. She then forced us to stay in the hospital a lot longer than we needed or wanted. It will be hard for me to forget her unpleasant attitude to a mom who pushed out a baby twenty minutes prior! My "baby" is still nursing well 2 yrs later.
From that experience, I learned that many, if not most hospital environments are incompatible with a calm, natural, mother- and infant-centred childbirth experience. I never want to push out a baby there ever again!
During my second pregnancy, we started interviewing midwives. Chris was the third lady we talked to. We loved the fact that she is very knowledgeable about healthy living in many other aspects of life and not just pregnancy. She also had a Christian mindset to birth, which was important to us. We were also thrilled to find out that she was a strong supporter of personal freedom and responsibility, which was just a big bonus cherry on the cake. We instantly knew we wanted to have her as our midwife.
At my prenatal appointments, Chris gave me excellent care and lots of useful advice about health and pregnancy. She was so friendly and respectful towards us - a big difference to how I was treated in the mainstream medical system.
Early one morning, around ten days before my due date, my water broke during one of my many trips to the bathroom. Soon afterwards, mild contractions started. Since I had prodromal labor with my first, I expected it might take some time. Little did I know I would be holding my baby by the day's end! I texted Chris with the news, and we continued texting throughout the day about my progression.
When Chris and her lovely midwife-in-training arrived that evening, my contractions were coming every 4 minutes for 1 minute. I thought my husband would be around to set up the birthing pool (we had a very heavy hose), but he was out at the store. I was impressed by how capable and quick the midwives were with the assembly.
The water felt really nice during labor, which helped me to relax. During my first birth, I was so afraid of the pain that I tensed up and was very shrill through contractions - which of course made them more painful! No one at the hospital gave me any recommendations for managing them.
This time around, I recalled the many natural birth stories I read during my pregnancy. I internalized the statement, "It's not pain, it's progress." I also relaxed my face, vocalized with a low pitch, and did "horse-lips" when things became more intense. These all really helped with the increasing intensity of contractions. When my voice became more shrill, Chris encouraged me to relax my face and return to a lower pitch.
While most of my labor was pretty manageable, I started losing some control towards the end and made some pretty loud noises. In hindsight, I think I would have benefited from more breathing and visualization exercises during pregnancy. I did consider doing them but was ultimately too lazy, haha. I definitely won't neglect that next time! The midwives and my husband helped a lot through the last stage by applying counter-pressure to my back, which felt really good.
During my first labor, I had an epidural from 7cm all the way until the pushing stage - so my mind really couldn't conceive how the baby was going to come out this time. Everyone around me was speaking with quiet and happy voices throughout the transition stage, and I remember wondering, "Do they really think a baby is coming?"
Then through the next contractions, I could feel the baby's body physically move down through my body. It was so intense but amazing. After some time, I could feel her head approaching. The warm water helped a LOT with the "ring of fire." Chris encouraged me to be careful with my pushes and gave me perineal support. However, because I didn't manage the contractions well at that point I pushed too hard and had a tear. Chris took a lot of care stitching me afterwards. I think she did a better job than the doctor who stitched me after my first birth, because postpartum healing has been a lot easier this time.
My sweet girl was born shortly after midnight. Chris said I could pull her out of the water and on my chest, which was such a beautiful moment for me. No one took my baby away for unnecessary procedures. I could hold her close to me from the moment of birth. Our newborn was small, but perfectly formed and with great APGARS. My toddler had refused to go to bed earlier when she realized the baby was coming, and had been hanging around us the whole time. She was so excited :)
I was quite shaky after the birth due to hormones, but had a warm herbal bath which was really nice. An incredible advantage of homebirth is being able to sleep right away in your own bed. No interrupting hospital staff, no rush with paperwork, no hobbling to the car with soreness down there.
I had so much joy and euphoria for the next few days whenever I saw my new baby. It was so strong. Even now, about 2 weeks later, I feel so happy to see her face when she wakes me up at night. I believe this is largely due to the unrestricted natural hormones from an unmedicated labor. I now can't imagine any other way to give birth, and am so thankful to Chris and Donna.