Birth Story For Diane
"Wow, you are having the baby at home? That's so brave."
That's what a friend said to me about having my first baby at home. All I could think was, "You're having your baby at a hospital? That's so brave."
I had heard of homebirth. It always seemed like a 'granola', or 'out there' thing that one of my mom's hippy friends had done once. I had never considered doing it myself. But, then I got pregnant.
My husband and I had been planning to have kids since we got together, and we were very excited. I'm a researcher by nature, and I had educated myself about pregnancy, but not much about birth. As I started to read, I became more and more shocked by the statistics of routine interventions in hospitals.
It became very clear to me that since I am planning to have more children, and I wanted to have them close together, the best shot I could give myself was to avoid a C-section, if at all possible, for my health and the health of my little one. Slow recovery, traumatic post-partum experiences, and even breastfeeding difficulties all seemed to have the same origin: the cascade of medical interventions that lead to surgery and complications that allow hospitals to bill new parents as much as humanly possible. It became clear to me that the goal of modern obstetric policy is to make the hospital money, not to get the best outcome for mother and baby.
I finally read the most recent study on the outcomes of a midwife attended home birth (less intervention, less infection, less postpartum healing issues, and a much higher rate of successful breastfeeding). Everything that was important, I felt. So, I started searching for midwives. I specifically wanted a CPM, certified professional midwife.
I made a spreadsheet. Then I called every single midwife (CPM or CNM) and birth center in the greater Houston area. Chris had the most experience of anyone I spoke to, and immediately asked if I'd like to come and meet her. I had a ton of questions, so I did, and I was very glad she agreed to take me, even though she had a busy July (the month I was due).
I saw her every two weeks, then every week. I have always hated going to an OB, and was not looking forward to it during pregnancy. Just makes me very uncomfortable, and always has. But she and her apprentices were amazing, and I always felt comfortable and unrushed, which is something I had never experienced with any OB/GYN I had ever been to.
A few weeks before my due date, I had a false alarm. I thought my water had broken, and Chris helped me try to get labor going to make sure the baby would be delivered within a safe window. She and one of her apprentices came out to check and make sure later that evening. We ended up getting an ultrasound to check amniotic fluid levels after everything calmed down and it became apparent that baby would not be joining us until later.
Then, almost week 41, another concern. My baby was overdue and didn't seem to have any intention of joining us in a timely manner. Chris knew that I really did not want to go to the hospital, and did everything she could to help move the baby along. Membrane sweeps, castor oil, the whole 9 yards. Finally, labor did start, and I was in labor for 18-20 hours. Chris and her apprentices came out early in the day (my contractions were close together) and sat with us, but then labor slowed. The baby's heartbeat was fine, so they went back into town and then came back when the contractions started picking up again.
From here, everything moved pretty quick (so it seemed to me). Chris and her apprentices came back, and my husband had blown up the birthing pool, so the midwives filled it and kept it at temp. It was pretty amazing how much that helped with the pain. It hurt, but was bearable. My husband held my hand and coached me through breathing, and finally, I had the urge to push around 1 AM. I had been in labor for about 15 hours at that point and was very tired. Chris gave me instructions on how to push, and which positions to move into the move the baby along. She had me get into a squat when it felt like I wasn't making much progress with pushing and then I could feel my baby's hair, and then adrenaline kicked in.
Had I been in a hospital, I believe I would have been pushed to have an emergency C-section because I was pushing for a while, and I'm a first time mom.
I kept pushing, and as the baby crowned, she had me slow down to allow everything to stretch.
This is where it gets interesting. I am a small person, but my baby is not a small person. She ended up being almost 9 pounds, and one of her shoulders got stuck. The medical term is shoulder dystocia. Essentially, her head was out, but her shoulder was stuck behind my pelvis. This can be and sometimes is considered an emergency. Chris quickly and calmly had me get out of the pool, got me on my hands and knees and coached me on pushing the rest of my baby out, as her head was out, but I was having trouble getting her body out.
She caught my baby, rubbed her off, and we heard her cry for the first time, which was the most amazing feeling! I sat on the floor to do skin to skin immediately and we delayed cord clamping for a bit.
Then, the real event. My placenta was retained and I was bleeding a lot. This can be life threatening, and is quite rare, occurring in about 3% of all births. I did not realize what was going on, as I was completely consumed by looking at my new baby. Chris had me lay down quickly, and had to reach in and get my placenta out. Her quick action saved my life.
When Chris and Zui (one of the apprentices) came back the next day, they asked how I was feeling after all that. I asked, 'after all of what?' At no point was I afraid. At no point was I not in control of my surroundings. At no point were there strangers or people I didn't want in my space. At no point did I feel pressured to do something I did not want to do. At no point did I feel like my body couldn't do the work. And despite one regular emergency and one very big emergency, I am one of the successful statistics I read about.
I'm 10 days postpartum as I write this.
Chris said if it wasn't for the shoulder dystocia, I probably would not have torn at all.
I think this is due to three things:
- 1. some breathing exercises I learned
- 2. feeling in control of my environment and only having people I knew and trusted there
- 3. Chris, Zui, and Donna's encouragement and coaching while I was pushing.
I had a second degree tear ( Chris stitched this up and this is the type of stitching that I'd really only want a midwife to do, personally, and Zui held my hand while I was being a wimp) and it is almost healed.
In 10 days. I felt almost myself again around day 7. I have had a fairly good experience breastfeeding as well. They gave a few tips before they left after the birth and that's been enough for me to feel confident. It was amazing, and both my husband and I can see a stark difference in the positive effects on both me and our baby compared to the hospital births we've seen. After this experience, I will continue to have Chris as my midwife and continue to have my children at home. If you are thinking about home birth, I strongly urge you to do your research and see if it's an option for you. I'm so glad I did.
