Isabel Natalia
Two days before my official "due date" I woke up to my water breaking at 12:30 in the morning. I did not want to be in labor. My grandmother passed away one week before and her funeral was in two days. I cried. My first child (Isaac) was born almost four weeks early, so I felt very abnormal HOPING for a late baby the second time around! Well ready or not, our daughter, Isabel, was on her way!
We notified our midwife, Chris Duffy, and other family and friends, and went back to bed. I slept between contractions for several hours until my husband (a teacher) went to work to make last-minute arrangements for his substitute. While he was gone, I couldn't sleep. I was anxious because I didn't know how frequent my contractions were or how long they were lasting. I finally started counting contractions at 7:00 am and had 3 contractions in 8 minutes, each lasting at least one minute. I immediately called Chris and let her know that they were very close even though I didn't know exactly how frequent they were. She told me to mark down how many contractions I had in the next hour, then call her back. Just before the hour was up, she called and I told her that I had just had my 13th . . . and in the middle of our phone call I had to stop talking so that I could breathe through the 14th contraction. Fourteen contractions in an hour . . . I had been sleeping in between contractions for so long!
Chris was on her way then, so I stopped counting and focused on relaxing as much as possible between contractions. Over the next hour or so several people showed up to be part of my "support team." My sister Janae, arrived to care for Isaac during my labor. Our plan was for him to watch the birth if he was interested and not frightened. I have sweet memories during my labor of hearing him in the next room talking and playing. Once or twice he came into the bedroom to see what I was doing. He seemed to understand that I was working hard to deliver his little sister. I am glad that we chose to keep him with us for her birth.
My good friend Nicole came to take pictures during the birth. She captured some really special moments that provided a beautiful memory of Isabel's birth. During my labor I remember hearing the click of her camera and being so grateful that she was there to capture the moments that a laboring mother isn't always aware of.
My mom also came to be my labor partner and coach. Next to my husband, she was probably the one person I needed most. We had several sweet moments between contractions where we talked about things I had been forgetting to tell her or things I was processing even during my labor. One example that I remember as significant to the labor, but also to my life in general is that I told her of a blog I ran across in which a lady came up with a word for the year. It was her theme word. While I had liked the idea, I hadn't really settled on any one word that I thought really fit my circumstances. During my labor I settled on the word "surrender." I had already surrendered to the fact that I might miss my grandmother's funeral. During labor I kept telling myself "surrender" to remind myself not to fight the contractions or the pain involved with labor. The more I surrendered, the faster the labor would be. My mom was my buddy and encourager during labor and after Isabel's birth.
Other people also trickled in (Chris, her assisting midwife, and three apprentices--Katelyn, Danielle, and Jennifer). When the last of the "support team" was there, I remember thinking, "everyone is here" and I was able to settle in to only thinking about labor.
I spent the first part of my labor on my knees with my chest across the bed (sort of a hands and knees position, but more comfortable, since my bed is low). I labored that way for a few hours. At one point I mentioned that I felt like I could get sick, and Chris told me that was a good sign, since that could indicate being farther along in the labor. I was extremely encouraged by that. My son's labor was only 6 hours long, so I sort of expected that this one would be similar.
Around 10:30 am I went to use the restroom and felt the urge to push. When Chris checked me to see if I was fully dilated, I was 8 cm. and not fully effaced. Because the baby was posterior and needed to turn, Chris had me do "lunges". I stood during the contractions with one leg on a chair, and I leaned over the leg as much as possible. During the lunges I held on to my husband's shoulders and let him support most of my weight. In between contractions I would switch legs, and my husband would switch to the other side of the chair. As the intensity of my contractions increased, I found it harder to switch legs. Eventually, my husband was helping me on the right, and my mom was on my left. Between contractions, they would have to help me get one leg off the chair and lift the other leg up. I remember worrying about how tired my husband and mom were. I could feel my sweet husband's body trembling while he would hold me up. He kept telling me not to worry about him. Guys, THOSE are the things that make your wife love you more during labor!
Throughout the first part of my labor I could hear the ticking of a clock that my grandmother had given to me. It is a family heirloom and I enjoyed hearing it's rhythmic ticking. That is, I enjoyed it for a while. On one hand, it was a reminder that time was ticking away and that I was getting closer and closer to the arrival of my daughter. I was comforted by the chiming every hour . . . until the clock struck noon. I have a habit of counting the chimes to know what time it is and I knew when the clock struck twelve that it would be all too easy to count a few chimes as the hours went on and get discouraged, so I asked my husband to stop the clock. It was funny to look at it over the next several weeks (because I forgot to restart it!) and realize that it was still stuck on noon!
During another trip to the bathroom, I felt the urge to push again. When Chris checked my progress, I was 9 cm, and still had a cervical lip. It still wasn't time to push. This happened a few times, and as my labor grew longer, I began to get very discouraged. There were times when I wanted to push but my body wasn't fully prepared. I began to doubt my ability to trust my own body. Why would I feel the urge to push if I still wasn't fully dilated or effaced? At my last prenatal appointment, Chris had warned me that Isabel could be posterior and that spending time on my hands and knees could help her to turn. I didn't really WANT to spend much time on my hands and knees, so unfortunately she was still posterior during labor. Chris had me get in the knee-chest position for a while to help Isabel turn. This is NOT comfortable during labor. Looking back on it, I believe that because Isabel was posterior, she was putting pressure on my body differently than Isaac had and it sent signals that my body didn't know how to interpret. I wish that I had spent lots and lots of time on my hands and knees trying to get her to turn before labor began. Lesson learned. :o)
Because of my discouragement I also felt a sense of fear that I didn't understand. I think it was because I questioned my body that I felt fear, but I started telling myself, "don't be afraid" during contractions. I remember feeling embarrassed for admitting that I was afraid of something that I couldn't even explain, but acknowledging it made coaching myself through my fear so much easier. Eventually Chris decided to let me try pushing even though I still had a cervical lip. She massaged the cervix back while I pushed and it eventually got out of the way enough to allow me to continue pushing until Isabel was born. Somewhere around this time Isaac fell asleep. Although he didn't witness the actual birth, I found out over the next few months that he understand exactly how his sister was born. At one point he pointed at my body and told me, "Isabel come out of there!" . . . and he was right! Never underestimate the awareness of a two-year-old!
It's interesting to me that I was impressed by how big Isabel seemed to be. My only previous experience was delivering a small, early baby. My son weighed 5 pounds 7 ounces and even though it was work to push him out, I remember thinking that it was actually quite easy. This time was actually hard work! I was allowed to push when I was ready, which I absolutely love. No one is watching a monitor and telling me when to push, and no one is counting to ten, like I would expect in a hospital. I pushed when I was ready and I quit when I was ready. There was some coaching going on, though. Someone told me that I needed to hold my breath more at one point. I think I was making a grunting/groaning sound that actually weakened the push. As soon as I held my breath some, I could feel how much more effective my pushing was. I also learned (on my own) that I didn't have to start pushing at the very beginning of the contraction. The most productive part of my pushing happened near the peak of the contraction. I realized that if I waited until the contraction got intense, then I was able to push effectively right away instead of building up to it. This helped me rest a little longer and make every effort I made that much more effective.
To me, laboring through the contractions is the hardest part. Pushing, although it is hard, is also extremely empowering. You feel your baby moving much more quickly than during contractions, and you realize how strong you are as a woman. You also KNOW how very close you are to holding the baby that you've been nurturing for the last nine months!
Isabel Natalia was born into her Daddy's loving arms at 3:27 pm on January 13, 2010. She weighed 7 lb. 14 oz. and was 21 inches long.
Two days later, Carlos and I took our newborn daughter to the funeral of the Great-Grandmother she just missed meeting. I have heard from more than one person (Chris being one of them) that God may choose to give Isabel a little bit of my Grandmother's personality to remind me of her. I won't be surprised if He chooses to do that. I miss my Grandmother and wish that Isabel could have had the chance to meet her, but I am so grateful for the the sweet bundle of joy that God gave me in such a difficult time.
